Excerpt from Redeeming Love!

...Her nightmares returned.

She was running, night closing around her. Heavy footsteps echoed in the alley behind her. Before her were the docks, ships' masts filling the horizon. She ran from one to another, pleading that they would let her come aboard. "Sorry, ma'am. All filled up," the sailor said, one after another.
She ran down the last pier and saw below her a carbage scow. The ropes were being untied. Looking back, she saw Duke. He was calling to her, his dark voice pulling at her.
Rats crawled over the refuse in the scow below her, feasting on rotting meat and vegetables. The foul smell assaulted her senses, but she jumped anyway and landed hard. Her hands sank into an oozing mass as rats squealed and scurried in all directions. She almost fainted from the foul stench but clung tightly as the scow began to move. It pulled away from the dock just as Duke reached the end.
"You can't get away. You can't get away, Angel."
Then he was gone, and she was in the middle of a storm-tossed sea. Waves crashed around her, splashing over the sides of the scow. She tried to climb to a safer haven, but there was none. She pulled herself higher to get away from the cold spray. When she reached the top, she saw Rab lying on his back. The black cord was still around his neck, and rats were tearing away his dead flesh. Crying out in fear, she slid down the heap again, huddling in the farthest corner of the scow away from him.
Shivering with cold, she covered her head. "I wish I was dead. I wish I was dead..."
"Darling, where is it?"
Angel looked up and saw her mother standing before her, shimmering in white. "Where is it darling? Where's my rosary?"
Angel scrambled over the heap, searching frantically. "I'll find it, Mama! I'll find it!" She saw something glimmer brightly and reached for it. "It's here! Oh, its here, Mama." The scow lurched violently and rose at one end, dumping garbage into the sea. Angel cried out, trying to reach her mother's rosary as she tumbled. Her fingertips just brushed the crucifix and beads before it slipped away, spilling over the side into the turbulent sea. Angel felt herself slipping away as well. Instinctively, she grasped hold of something, but nothing was solid enough to hold her safe. Everything was going. She splashed into the cold water, decaying debris churning around her. She kicked and fought to make the surface and when she did, it was calm. She saw a shore and swam toward it. When she reached it, she could hardly stand under the weight of the filth clinging ot her. She staggered onto the beach and sank down, exhausted. Her skin was blotched with ugly sores and disgusting growths, like the baby of the young prostitute.
When she looked up, she saw Michael standing in a field. The soft wind made the wheat look like a golden sea around him. The air was sweet and clean. Miriam was walking toward him, a baby in her arms, but he paid her no attention. "Amanda!" he called out, running toward her.
"No, Michael, go back! Don't come near me!" She knew if he touched her, the foulness covering her would cover him as well. "Stay away! Stay back!"
But he would not listen. He came ahead.
She was to weak to run away. She looked down at herself and saw her flesh decaying and dropping away. Michael walked toward her without hesitation. He was so close, she could see his eyes. Oh..."God, let me die. Le me die for him."
No, came a soft voice.
She looked up and saw Michael standing before her. A small flame burned where his heart was. No, beloved. His mouth hadn't moved, and the voice was not his. The flame grew larger and brighter, spreading until his entire body was radiant with it. Then the light separated from Michael and came the last few feet toward her. It was a man, glorious and magnificent, light streaming from him in all directions.
"Who are you?" she whispered, terrified. "Who are you?"
Yahweh, El Shaddai, Jehovah-mekoddishkem, El Elyon, El Olam, Elohim...
The names kept coming, moving together like music, rushing through her blood, filling her. She trembled in fear and could not move. He reached out and touched her, and she felt warmth encompassing her and the fear dissolving away. She looked down at herself and found she was clean and clothed in white.
"Then I am dead."
That you may live.
Blinking, she looked up again and saw the man of light was covered with her filth. "No!" she wept. "Oh, God, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'll take it back. I'll do anything..." Yet even as she reached out, the defilement disappeared and he stood before her perfect again.
I am the way, Sarah. Follow me.
As she stepped forward and reached out for him, there was a thunder clap, and Angel awakened in darkness.

Redeeming Love
Francine Rivers
1997