AN ENCOUNTER WITH A HERO

In a way I always wished that I had begun blogging before I met Melissa Gilbert, because this is exactly the kind of stuff that I would want to put in here. I have loved Melissa Gilbert for as long as I can remember. My favorite show of all time is Little House on the Prairie, and I found myself not only being drawn to Half-Pint, but wanting to be her. “Laura” captivated me and I loved the rich family aspect of the show. The show is one of the main reasons why I want to do what I want to do. I remember the first movie I saw Melissa in outside of the “Little House” bubble was “Without Her Consent” a story about her being raped by an acquaintance. This was the first time I saw the depth of what she could do, and it was suddenly easy for me to separate Melissa Gilbert from the character of “Laura”. In fact even now I look at “Laura” and Melissa as two different people. I get so wrapped up in the characters in “Little House” that I truly see them separate than the actors that play them. It is as if Melissa was simply the face of “Laura”.

Many people ask me…”Why?” “Why do you admire her so much?” I’m not sure if I can even put that into words. After meeting her and hearing her speak it is driven home even more that I adore the person that she is. She is someone who is not afraid to admit that she has issues, problems, and shortcomings. She has been both lucky and unlucky in love. She has had an extremely successful television movie career, and she can always bring something new to a character that astounds me. She is not only an actor, but producer and director as well. Her facets reach all the areas that I desire to go. To top it off she has had a very successful marriage to marvelous Bruce Boxleitner, and is an astounding Mother. Her goal is to her family first and foremost. She has been able to create a balance between a career and family. A balance I strive to create. I love her strength of character, and her ability to overcome the trials in her life. I love to hear her talk. I am just moved by her spirit. She is so very special to me. She is something beyond words to me. I adore her realness, her heart, her openness, her character, and how she is living life. I respect her, and that is hard to find in Hollywood. I could go on for hours probably, but I will get to my actual encounter that came in October of last year…

Tears running down my face shielded by my hands that were placed snuggly over my face. The very thought this could be true, but it couldn’t be, impossible, not now, I’m not ready, not like this…never did I imagine so soon…never did I imagine in Lexington, KY. I always thought my encounter with my hero, Melissa Gilbert, would be once I was a little more established in my career, that we might have a chance meeting in a creative endeavor. I knew that I would be emotional…I mean after all, how do you articulate your souls passion for someone else without seeming like a complete and utter lunatic.

I remember the first moment when the possibility of meeting Melissa Gilbert was presented to me. I just could not or would not believe that it was actually true. Jill, Joanna, and I were sitting back in the break room one cool October afternoon chatting about heroes and Hollywood, with blushing cheeks and great enthusiasm I was sharing with them why Melissa Gilbert meant so much to me. At the close of the conversation Jill somewhat casually mentioned to me, “Well, you know she is coming into town.” My heart sunk to the bottom of my toes. The news was simply too much. A series of “Excuse Me’s” floated out of my mouth in curling rings about my buzzing head. I was in total disbelief. I really don’t think I could believe it. I went home and frantically searched the computer for proof and sure enough I uncovered this little jewel called “In the Interest of Women”…a conference that had been going on for several years in the bluegrass, and I had absolutely no idea about. Not only that Sissy Spaseck was supposed to be speaking, but had to cancel due to another engagement. Melissa stepped in to fill her shoes. I have no doubt that God was working divinely in this, because I would have walked on past this event without even realizing it if these things were not falling into place. Well, needless to say I fought for a ticket for the event and it was booked scheduled and settled…I was GOING to meet my hero!!!

On a rainy gray day in October I journeyed down the steps of the Lexington Center to the conference area called Heritage Hall. I was full of emotion, slight dullness and calm, surprising calm in me. I felt like, “Melissa, you are going to be alright!” So, with my ticket and a letter to Melissa tucked safely in my coat pocket I set out to sign in. Needless to say the remainder of the day was not much of interest to me. I sat uncomfortable in confined meeting rooms, listening to inspiring women speak, but the noise in my head wouldn’t let their words penetrate. They loomed about my head in a dizzying circle growing bored and drifting onto the next more attentive soul who might let the knowledge penetrate.

Once the second hour of conferences was over I thought I would go ask the ladies at the information desk if Melissa would be signing at the event? I really doubted that she would. I just couldn’t believe that I would actually have a close encounter with her. I almost didn’t here the kind lady’s words…”Yes! She will be signing right at that table” pointing to a table sitting snuggly in a corner. I thanked her and shared my journey and inspiration of this beautiful woman a little with her. She went onto say that Melissa had been one of the most gracious guests she had had the pleasure of knowing. I knew it. I knew her character was genuine.

I went to the bathroom, splashed some cold water on my face, fixed my skirt, applied some extra lipstick, and took deep heaps of air into my lungs…that peace I once felt was soon being invaded by ever prevalent butterflies in my stomach and emotional pools just behind my eyes. I went back to the conference area to wait, somewhat impatiently, for the doors to open. When they finally did I rushed to find a table to sit out. I did not care for the ladies that I sat with earlier on in the day, and did not care to sit with them again. I said a silent prayer that I would sit with a lovely group of women that would embrace the emotion they were about to see. The ladies I sat with that afternoon were awesome. I informed all of them that tears would spill forth when Melissa walked out. I shared my heart with them on how much she meant to me…I ate lunch, while delicious, somewhat non-interestingly…finished…applied lipstick again, and pulled out my camera and the letter I had written her the night before. Basically…I fidgeted.

The lights dimmed, my heart fell out on the floor, and the facilitator came to introduce this beauty, this enigma…as she walked out on stage that emotion locked just behind my eyes spilled forth and I began to cry. (A funny note: I was sitting directly in the middle of my table, so when she came out, everyone sitting at the table turned to stare at me!… a great break in my emotional rollercoaster!) She gave a beautiful and emotional speech. I actually learned things that I didn’t even know (like she has a tattoo on her lower “right I believe” ankle) and some other delicious things. She was so honest, so open, so giving of herself. I just got lost in the hour or so that she spoke. She shared her heart with us and I was soaking up every little morsel.

After she spoke it was time for questions…I wasn’t going to miss my chance. I was the first one up and the first one to ask her a question. I can’t even believe I managed to speak…it was pitiful how the words came out…I sounded wounded, like a wounded animal or something…my question squeezed out through a closed throat and pouring emotion…”You are my hero, I just want to know who your hero is?” A thunderous applause…I think people felt sorry for me…when in doubt clap. She replied with, “her Dad and her boys!” Several more questions followed, and then it was time. It was time to step beyond myself and meet her face to face. I wanted to be close to the front so I left a wee bit early. I was the first person in line. This never ever happens to me. While waiting several ladies behind me were simply being a great encouragement to me. Stacey…a lovely young woman about my age gave me a big hug and said that she wanted to do that when she saw me get up and ask my question. Several other of the ladies were joking with me like…”Stacey be ready to catch her when Melissa comes out!” or “Melissa, what if we told you the signing was on the other side of the building”…light hearted and calming. Then the elegance and stature of this rare beauty surfaced.

I was in awe. I tried to say something profound anything, but what I said was mush in my mouth…I started out by saying…”I don’t mean to be a weeping willow.” She said, “That’s alright we are Melissa’s and we are allowed to do that.” “…the mush part…” She was gracious as she said…”Thanks!” as I handed her the letter. (She did put it in her briefcase!) She said, “Well, they have only given me an hour to sign and I’m not supposed to personalize these, but I’ll start out by personalizing this one.” I asked for a picture and she said sure. I think she was just expecting me to turn towards the camera, but I was like, forget this, and came around behind her…she said,”come on around here!” and the picture was taken. I took Stacey’s picture and then in a flash as quickly, as it had begun, it was over.

You see foolishly I thought this would be a life changing moment…that somehow Melissa would see something in me and…well…that it would simply be life changing. While, it was in many ways, I was flooded by doubt. I am never at a loss for words especially with writing, but I felt like I did not give my best when writing her letter. I felt filled with doubt and emptiness. In that moment I realized that I was wanting God and something else to fill me up. God was like, “I’m going to give you this Melissa, but not in the way you think. It is going to be great, but you won’t realize the work it is going to do in you until later.” How true! I realized in that moment what great family and friends I had. Meredith, Michelle, Mom, and Dad were so supportive, and my dear friend Jamie, I realized that she would be there for me no matter what. She was soooo encouraging, so amazing. I was telling her how empty and quick it was over…I wanted more of a connection…and that I did not feel my letter was really all that good. She said, “First Melissa, you need to look at the opportunity that you had, most people would never get that close to their hero, and think, just think, she personalized her autograph to you, when she wasn’t supposed to do that…and another thing missy, you have never once written crap…everything that you write, even if you don’t think it is at your best, is profound and amazing and heartfelt…so for an average person, what you wrote would be a great piece of work…because your average is always better than most people!” I was once again blown away by the way God works.

Yes! I have learned to appreciate and relish my encounter with my hero, and I understand more than ever that God and…will never fill me up, only Him…and yes I still LOVE MELISSA GILBERT!

Check out the fictional story that I wrote about her…this was after I met her. I’m crazy in a very good stable way…I promise:)

FICTIONAL STORY ABOUT THE TWO MELISSA'S

PICTURE OF MELISSA AND I
(CLICK ON PICTURE TO GET A BIGGER VIEW)